Thirteen Years

Thirteen years.

A few nights ago my boys asked me if I could change anything about my past, what would it be?

They were surprised with my response. "Nothing."

My oldest, very carefully asked, "Not even losing Nonni?"

It's so hard to understand, hard to live out, and harder to explain.

I would not be who I am without her. She was my entire world for 18 years. I am who I am, because of her. But now I have had to live and grow without her, for 13 years. I am who I am, because of losing her.

Everything about my mom’s life and death, forms parts of who I am. I could not and would not be the woman that I am today if I hadn't had to overcome the horrible loss we faced on this day.

I miss her with an ache that won't ever go away, but I also know how very blessed I was to have her for the time that I did. Hug and love your mommas today, and every day.