A Resolution for Resolutions

Hello 2023!

Whether you had a great 2022 or are happy to see it finally in the rearview mirror, I hope you are having an excellent start to the new year!

Many of us have set New Year's resolutions, written goals, picked a word for the year, or taken other steps to move into the new year with good intentions.

If you are anything like me - or 91% of our population - you've set great goals and resolutions but will lose the motivation, shift your focus, or give up. You read that right. Only 9% of people follow through with their New Year's resolutions. 23% of people give up by the end of the first week. So many people quit on the second Friday of the month that a workout app named Strava has dubbed that day "Quitters Day." (1)

There are a lot of reasons that so many fail to follow through with their resolutions or goals.

A common theory is that many people set goals unrelated to their day-to-day reality or expect to achieve them too quickly.

A typical thought process on this is to set smaller goals and, instead of working hard to achieve goals quickly, take smaller steps to achieve the goals over a more extended time.

And while I agree with the wisdom and advice of taking small steps toward a big goal over time, and I know it works, I want to encourage the exact opposite behavior today.

I have done the things. I've set resolutions, written out goals, set words for the year, and started strong with great intention. I have even achieved some of those goals. But more often than not, I've given up like 91% of us.

This year, I wanted different.

As I sat with God, looking toward a new year, I remembered the words of one of my hockey mom friends.

During our son's hockey games, when she wants her son to step up, play harder, or be more aggressive, she yells out, "GET BIG!"

I love her choice of words. She isn't telling her son how to play or what to do; she is motivating him to push himself. She is reminding him that he is a presence out there, capable of more than what he's currently doing.

And I can't speak for you, but I need that reminder sometimes, too! I may not be a hockey player or even an athlete, but that reminder to "GET BIG" is necessary from time to time!

I once told my husband, "I feel like I've made myself small to fit here." He responded, "Then it is time to leave because you are not a small person."

He reminded me that when an animal, such as a lizard or turtle, is kept in a habitat too small for it, the animal will not grow. They can grow as big as their environment and diet allow, but if they are kept in the same small habitat their whole lives, they will not grow to their full potential.

We have all been guilty of playing small at some point. Maybe we've done it to fit in somewhere, to make someone else comfortable, or because we have forgotten our worth and ability. Some of us have practiced small faith in the past - forgetting that we serve a big God who can do big things.

We can find ourselves in a habitat, place, situation, relationship, job, or mindset that is too small for us. And because it is too small, we cannot reach our full potential. We feel the need to grow and do more - but we can't.

My family spent 2013-2014 receiving food from food shelters, celebrating Thanksgiving with turkeys from a food pantry, and Christmas with toys gifted to our kids through a Toys for Tots program.

Our cupboards sat bare except for canned goods and pastries our food shelter offered us each week, our bank account emptier than the cupboard shelves.

In January 2015, we were without a home. We stayed on a friend's couch, with every door around us closing left and right. We tried, as had become routine, to fix the situation ourselves. We did everything in our power to find a place to live, even if it was not a great fit. The doors continued to slam shut.

Finally, we stopped trying. We prayed very big and specific prayers to God. We were no longer praying desperate prayers for the bare minimum; we were praying for God's will. Where did He want us? What was it that He had for us in this? What was His plan?

By February 2015, doors we would not have ever even dreamed of knocking on had swung wide open for us. We found ourselves living in a new state, a new home twice the size of our last, in a safe neighborhood for our kids to play in, with a pantry that I was sure we'd never be able to afford to fill - but we did.

I realized then that our family had played it safe and small for years. Because of our circumstances, we became small and felt like we could not grow. Our prayers were said with doubt on our tongues and desperation in our hearts.

Don't get me wrong. The prayers we prayed were big prayers during that season of our lives. Getting the electric and water bill paid in the same month was a vast and valid prayer - because it rarely happened.

But those prayers were big to us - they were not big for God. We had been practicing small faith and saying small prayers. We forgot that we serve a big God.

It was not until we had no choice but to rely on God, to practice a faith beyond anything we could see, and to give up trying to fix it ourselves, that we got big.

We said big, unbelievable prayers. We had faith that God would come through because the idea that he wouldn't... was too crushing. We gave up what we wanted, what we could plan and control, and gave it to God.

And He came through. Bigger than we ever could have prayed.

Remember that a common theory behind why so many people fail to achieve their goals is that many goals are unrelated to their day-to-day reality, or they expect to achieve them too quickly.

From a spiritual point of view, what I hear is that people are setting goals for themselves rather than aligning their goals with God's will for their lives. People are expecting to achieve these goals on their timelines, not Gods.

Proverbs 16:3 tells us, "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans." Further on, in Proverbs 16:9, "In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."

When I look back at our family struggles in 2013-2014, I remember how desperate we were to get out of the situation we had found ourselves in. We hustled and struggled to force the situation to be better. We were impatient and restless.

Every single day was a struggle and left us feeling out of control. I can look back and remember times when we made decisions for what we wanted and thought were best but never consulted with God on if it was what He had for us.

But Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths."

I sometimes wish I could go back in time and tell myself to just breathe. To look at what God was doing, to trust him, and see the bigger picture. It was not just because it would work out but because there was beauty in that struggle. God was doing significant work in my family, even before we were saying big prayers or believing big things.

So this year - I've decided. I will get big.

Not because of a resolution. Not because of a goal or a word. Not because I am taking control of my own life.

Do not misunderstand. I have set goals and I am praying big prayers. I am believing for big things for myself, my family, our business, our year, and our future.

The difference this year is that I am aligning those goals, desires, and dreams with God, praying for His will over all of it.

My challenge to you is this:

Get big. (I bet you didn't see that coming!)

Not in your own power but in His.

Romans 12:2 says, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

Do not conform your ways or your thoughts to this world or your current place in it. Do not limit yourself or your dreams to the habitat you're currently in. You are not a small person.

Align your resolutions, goals, and words of the year with God's will for your life. Pray for God's will, guidance, and clarity on what He wants for you. Commit your works to Him. Trust in Him.

Get big! Remember, you are a presence out there!

And maybe if we do these things... we can be a part of the 9% this year.

(1) Source for New Years Resolution facts: Inside Out Mastery